Here is the scenario of a sales call I just received at the bakery:
Me: Good afternoon Ron Ben-Israel Cakes
Caller: May I speak with the owner of the company?
Me: No you may not, you can chat with me.
Caller: Are you the owner?
Me: Nope
Caller: Well I would like to speak to the owner.
Me: You can’t.
Caller: Well ok, I am calling you today to discuss Google.
Me: Is this a sales call?
Caller: No it is not.
Me: Then why are you calling me to discuss Google. Are you going to ask me for money?
Caller: No I am not.
Me: So what would you like from me?
Caller: How would you like to be listed in the top position of a Google web search?
Me: Do you know what the name of our website is?
Caller: No
Me: It’s weddingcakes.com. Are you in front of a computer?
Caller: Yes.
Me: Please type in weddingcakes.com in your Google search engine.
Caller: (a pause) oh…
Me: I am already at the top of the search, how much were you going to charge me for your service?
Caller: Well the plans start at $1,000.
Me: I thought you said you weren’t going to ask me for any money?
Caller: Well, I uh, I never really said…
Me: I asked you if this was a sales call and you said no, and I asked if you were going to ask me for any money and you said no. SO how is this not a sales call?
Caller: Well, this isn’t a sales call, it’s telemarketing.
Me: For the 8th time this week, I am asking politely for you to take me off your calling list. And by the way telemarketing means you solicit sales and services over the telephone. That is a SALES CALL. Please stop calling me. Thanks. Bye.
NYC Cake Girl 
I will be using your example the next time I get a sales call at my bakery…and they are always calling Thursdays and Fridays…
Thank you for this~ I do nearly the same q & a for my business … including giving the caller my keywords and the listening to the silence at the other end when they realize they can’t get me higher that 1-3 for all of my queries on Google.
I love all of your posts … thank you so much 🙂
I’m printing this out and posting it on every wall in my shop and office!!!!!
Hilarious…I get this crap ALL THE TIME TOO!
Great! You’re nicer than I am – I just usually hang up. I don’t have time to futz around with crap like that – I have cakes to make.
Hahaha this is great, its now printed and posted for m staff to use LOL
You are amazingggg.